A LoveHate Relationship
by LarkroseLukos
Summary: Kowalski has the perfect way to win Doris's heart- a love potion! What happens when the wrong person drinks the serum? Hilarity ensures in this Kowalski centered adventure. Kowalski OC
1. The Invitation

Disclaimer: I do not own POM. I do own my OCs though.

"You have been invited to the dolphins place tomorrow for a pool party." Mason read aloud. "Bring drinks."

"Doris invited me to her party!" Kowalski jumped happily.

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Okay. Private, whip us up some smoothies. Rico, find us some cups. Kowalski… do your math thing."

"What are you going to be doing, Skippah?" asked Private.

"I'm going to be keeping guard. Someone needs to make sure no one breaks in to our confidential files."

"Files?" blathered Rico.

"Yes. I have a file on everyone in this zoo."

"Could I look at Doris's?" asked Kowalski.

Skipper glared at him. "Don't ever get love mixed with work." he scolded. "The results could be devastating."

"Interesting theory, Skip'…" That "I'm-Thinking-Really-Hard-So-Don't-Disturb Me-" look crossed Kowalski's face.

"Don't get any ideas." Skipper snapped.

Kowalski nodded, but his thoughts were on something else.

"What is it, K'walksi?" Private asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Kowalski was giddy. "It's a love serum! _Philia Aqua,_ to be excact."

"Isn't that the name of a perfume?"

"So what if it is? It sounds good." Kowalski shot him a look that said 'No critiscm.'

"Just don't tell Skipper," said Kowalski.

"Uh-"

Kowalski narrowed his eyes.

"Of course I won't tell." Private nodded vigourusly, laughing nervously.

Kowalski tucked the serum in its hiding place (under his pillow). He rubbed his flippers together. He couldn't wait for tomorrow.


	2. The New Arrival

Alice hit a crate down. "Just what we need," she grumbled. "More penguins. Why can't we get something cute, like a koala?"

"Kowalski, analysis." Skipper whispered.

"Looks like a large crate. Possibly has a peng-"

He didn't need to finish. The crate door opened and a pretty female penguin waddled out. Her white feathers had a blonde tinge to them, and her beak was dotted with freckles.

"Hi, guys." she said. "I'm Harriet."

Some time later…

"So you guys work in the field of espionage and… military missions?" Harriet was giggling. She had a laugh that sounded like a snort.

"It's no laughing matter, recruit." Skipper's voice was gruff and obviously annoyed.

Harriet wasn't even listening. "Ooh, what does this do?" She pressed a button on a gun like machine.

"No that's my-"

**BOOM!**

The entire place was coated in smoke. There was now a hole in the wall of the HQ.

"-Grenade launcher." finished Kowalski with a cough.

"Wow! That was a really cool cupcake, Private!"

"I never made a cupcake, Harriet." Private answered.

"Oh. Then I guess it was something else. Anyways…" Harriet was quick to change the subject.

"Hey Skipper, have you seen my vomit inducing cake?" called Kowalski. "It looks a lot like a cupcake."

Harriet's eyes grew wide. "Excuse me." She said, and ran into the bathroom.

Later…

"Time to go the party!" called Private, the only penguin with a watch.

Kowalski bolted over. He had decided to not use the serum, though he brought a knapsack with the serum safely tucked inside.

When they arrived at the party, everyone met the new arrival to the habitat. The new dolphin was handsome. His flippers were strong and muscular. His silver-blue skin glittered in the light. His eyes were like two emeralds floating in a milky sea. Doris stayed by him the whole party. And his name was El' Grande.

Every time Kowalski tried to talk to Doris, she was with Harriet, chatting about how wonderful Grande was. Just as Kowalski thought he could actually say hi to her, Doris said those words that changed everything.

"Me and El' Grande are going on a date tonight!"

Kowalski was shattered. He glared at E' Grande- who currently was chatting (and flirting) with Marlene.

A devious smile crossed Kowalski's face. He ran over and grabbed two of Private's smoothies- and poured the entire bottle of love serum in one.

"A drink, _princessa_?" he asked Doris.

"I'll take that one!" Harriet yelled, and grabbed one of the smoothies. Doris took the other and drank it, frowning at Kowalski's eager expression.

"There's not something in here, is there?" she asked. "No sciency mumbo jumbo witch's brew?"

"Of course not." Kowalski said, and waited.

But Doris didn't hug or kiss him. Instead, Harriet got out of the pool, an said those four little words that ruined Kowalski's day.

"I love you, Kowalski!"


	3. Hate Serum

In the last chapter:

"_I love you, Kowalski!" _

Harriet hugged Kowalski happily. Kowalski finally managed to pry her away and back away, flippers up and breathing heavy.

Skipper raised an eyebrow at Kowalski, who shrugged with a nervous smile. Skipper narrowed his eyes, his suspicions revealed.

"Um… cake, anyone?" Private broke the awkward silence. "No one? Okay then…"

Kowalski cocked his head at Doris, who turned away.

"Huh." Kowalski said. "Well, bye everyone. Great party, um… great pool water. You guys should win the first prize for good pool water. Anyways, I really should be going-"

"Your not going anywhere without me!" Harriet hugged Kowalski. Kowalski broke free of her grasp and ran off, leaving the crowd watching stunned. Then they all returned to their conversations.

Harriet became Kowalski's shadow. She followed the tall penguin wherever he went, always throwing in "Kowalski is my boyfriend. Aren't I lucky?" to everyone they met. Kowalski mostly tried to hide his face and wait for it to be all over.

Later that week…

"Watcha working on, my love?" Harriet said.

"It's a- Could you fetch Private?" asked Kowalski.

***

"So you made a love potion… and fed it to Harriet by mistake. And now you've made a hate potion so she'll hate you?" asked Private.

"That's the plan." Kowalski crossed his arms. "And I think I did a pretty good job of it mehself."

"How do you know it'll work?" Private said. "I mean, what if I take it by accident? Or Rico?"

"Nonsense, Private. The plan is exactly 79.45 percent going to work."

"Did you just make up that number, or-"

"A scientist always knows. That's why you're going to be my apprentice when you are older."

"Apprentice?" Private looked nervous.

"Enough of that. Could you make some lemonade?"

Even later…

"I must say Private, this lemonade is simply delicious. It's like a party in my mouth." Skipper gave Private a high five.

Private sipped some of his. "I know. I think I did a pretty fine job."

Kowalski waited for Harriet to come and tell him how much she hated him but she never came.

"Kowalski, did I ever mention how much I HATE YOU?" Skipper yelled.

"Oh boy." Kowalski hit his face into his hands.

"Not as much as I hate BOTH of you!" Private yelled back.

"Hate!" blathered Rico.

Harriet ran over and hugged Kowalski.

"I love you, Walski." she said with a smile.

"I-sigh-hate you too, Harriet." Kowalski sat down and waited for it too wear off.


End file.
